Releasing my emotional attachment to feeling good!


Recently I have discovered my emotional attachment to "the need to feel good".  I’m one of those people that really experiences the highs and when I’m there, everything is great.

I feel alive: excited; happy; energised; and at peace with me and where I am. However conversely, if there are things going on around me that I find challenging to deal with (enter 3 young boys, including a set of twins thrown in the mix!), I find myself getting stuck in feelings of frustration and almost melancholy and in that state, I am noticing my urge to "get away" from run away from these feelings and hide.

Not really wanting anyone to see me in this place and almost a sense of shame surrounding me - as if something is wrong with the way I am when I’m not happy.

This pressure to feel great all of the time, especially since being in this field of “helping and supporting others” and running a business called The Joy Solution has sometimes led me to feel like a fraud!
The need to hide this un-joyful state (as I now see) has become greater and since this isn’t a true expression of me..there is no joy.

Wow! As I sit here writing these words, there is a part of me that cannot believe what is springing onto the page. I thought these feelings and how I saw myself had completely shifted with all of the work I have done but what I am learning is that wait…there’s more!! Even this knowing that there are more lessons to learn and more unravelling to do evokes a feeling of exhaustion. Maybe for some, it’s this very feeling that can stop us from moving forward. Staying stuck in that place. However, I know there is a gift in this. There always is when something causes so much pain. So..thank you Universe - I trust it’s going to be a goodie!

So what now?? Well one thing is for sure, I am aware of this attachment and the way I react to not feeling great. This awareness is a good start! I am also reminded now of how I managed these feelings whilst suffering from bulimia - bingeing and purging to escape feeling "bad" - and now I don’t have that vice.. Although I have recovered from the eating disorder, my reaction to feeling ‘unpleasant’ emotions is still causing me to suffer.. I do not accept myself to feel anything apart from great. Insane! Clearly, if I cannot accept this “shadow” side of me which I haven’t until now, I am constantly resisting these feelings and what comes with that, is more of the same! More frustration; more anger: and more shame.

And here I was believing that the cause of my ‘suffering’ was the chaos around me and not being ok with it (even when a shoe was being thrown at my head!) when quite possibly, the path to freedom is in accepting more of how I feel (and me AGAIN!!) and not feeling pressure to get “out of that mood”.

In that state of acceptance (which feels gentle even to think about it), I can start to imagine how much easier life would be and how getting “out of the way” would allow these emotions and feelings to flow through me rather than almost paralyse me at times.

Once again I can see that this lesson is about accepting me. That I am enough even when I’m not feeling so great. I have travelled a fair way along this path but this is about accepting ALL of me - the love, joy and excitement I feel and the frustration, anger and exhaustion I also feel. It’s like a switch has turned on. That overwhelming stuck feeling has passed and I’m left feeling lighter knowing this blocked energy has shifted and is flowing freely through me now.

So where to from here??.. How can I (and you if you resonate with these words) release my attachment to this need to feel great?

Here is what I intend to do and I invite you to try some of these tips to release your attachment to something. 

  • Begin and end each day by stating “I choose to release my emotional attachment to…(problem, event, situation, person)”. Pop it in your phone as a reminder throughout your day and even sticky notes on fridges, bathroom mirrors, etc are great.  (Taken from Steve Wells training, EFTdownunder.)

  •  Use EFT to start to shift the energy around this attachment as there will be programming and beliefs supporting it. Start by tapping on the points for 5 minutes, 3 times a day whilst tuning into this problem, situation, person or event. If you are new to tapping, you can check out the tapping points in our 'Free Resources'.

  • Meditate daily, setting your intention before you start around releasing this attachment. If you don’t meditate, sit quietly whilst consciously breathing deeply. Breathe in acceptance (in breath) and breathe out release (out breath). * You can do this as often as you choose.

  • Start a journal and reflect on when this attachment shows up and any new awareness you gain from this insight.

  • Use essential oils to support this vibrational shift. I use Young Living oils as they’re 100% therapeutic. Release and Acceptance are the 2 oils I will use daily. 

What I know from this journey is that sometimes we need the support of it a Kinesiologist, a coach, a counsellor or whomever else you seek out. Often someone outside of ourselves can facilitate these shifts in a seamless and gentle way and it feels good to know you're not alone.

I wish for everyone reading this, that my learning will shed some light for you on what you are emotionally attached that you too can start to release that which no longer serves you.

With Love